( Aug. 6th, 2009 11:22 pm)
Was feeling really sick again today! My hands wouldn't stop shaking from 2pm til well into the evening. Finally calmed down when I went out with Sarah and Brendan for Bill Maher. Feeling better now but still hesitant to really eat. Will try peanut butter for lunch tomorrow and see.

Stupid mother called last night. Uncle John is dying of pancreatic cancer. of course, it's all MY fault and if only I was a good child who stayed home and helped her fucked up family everything would be peaches and sunshine, cancer would cease to exist, and no one would ever die. I don't know what made me more upset. The fact she's a bitch or the fact she's a bitch that gets to me. No tarot cards today. Didn't feel my energy was right and I don't want to over read them.

Spike is chasing the words across the screen as I type them. A reason to go to bed with a smile on my face. :)
Sick today. Still nauseous and headache-y and tired like last week. I blamed the heat then but it's only been around 83. I'm blaming the crappy diet and heat for now. Got to see the Japanese gardens yesterday. A bit smaller than I thought. I had visions of being able to stroll through the cherry blossom trees and koi ponds but alas, no deal. And I missed out Bill Maher with Sarah and Brendan! We'll make it up later I suppose. Started doing tarot spreads again because I feel very lost. Here's today...

I did a 4 card spread with Card #1 being Pros, #2 Cons, #3 The Question, and #4 The Answer. So here goes...

Card #1-King of Swords-Tossing out a new idea, getting thoughts on paper, brainstorming. The ability to see problems objectively and find new and better solutions. This goes hand in hand with my earlier reading of helping a friend start a new business. Also, with the current idea in my mind of selling my cards on Etsy. So I will be going forth with that and seeing if there is anything additional I can do for Brendan in his Rockstar Remodel endeavor.

Card #2-8 of Pentacles-An apprentice works on eight pentacles. This is the apprentice card. It is a card of starting over, doing something new or perhaps just expanding. Apprenticeship can be scary or demoralizing, as in all those cliched movies where the Kung Fu youngster has to carry water and sweep floors before he can do the real stuff. Similarly, this card predicts, if not a tough time, a time of learning and mistakes, doubts and just hard work. The Querent needs to be told to keep up their courage, to either make this move into a new job or to stick with it if they've already made the move. Being an apprentice (or an apprentice again) will teach (or re-teach) them how to persevere.Clearly the "cons" card. I'm confused about where to start with the selling of the cards. I feel like I don't take pictures well enough to capture their detail and coloring and that I would fall behind in getting my sales mailed off. Clearly I am an "apprentice" to the whole selling things online gig.

Card #3-3 of Pentacles-A craftsman shows off his work of three pentacles in an arch to a pair of potential patrons. This is the craftsman's card and it indicates creating something that brings in patronage. The Querent has created, well, more work for himself. So promising is what the Querent has done with so little, that money, admiration, and more work is coming their way, enough to get them out of the juggling they were doing in the two of pentacles. Health wise, this card can also indicate positive results from a new exercise program or therapy.Awesome! I have been showing off my card making and it has "created work" for me. I'm going full speed ahead with this selling cards thing. This positively impacts the whole "juggling the bills" thing I've had going on as well. And I've downloaded Daily Yoga Podcasts so maybe that means it will go well.

Card #4-Reversed 10 of Pentacles-This is the pinnacle of prosperity, material goods that last instead of being temporary; this is a family home bought and paid for, a business you can pass onto your children. The Querent might find themselves the lucky recipients of a trust fund or lottery money big enough to last a lifetime. It may not be a huge lump sum, but it is something that can be relied on for a good, long while, or something to be passed on to the children, a family inheritance, or just a special, valuable item to pass onFor my "Answer" card I like this. Means the card making will take off. I'd like that trust fund though....




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